Go fight, pussy. I look forward to reading about you in the news.

You don’t know me. I’m covered from head to toe with scars from growing up in a world much like the one you grew up in. Hospital trip after hospital trip, police officers taking Polaroids, swearing that my brother and I were wrestling and a mirror fell on me, or my hand got broke because I crashed an atv. I was locked in a room and starved to the point that I was stunted, the only male in my family who isn’t over 6ft tall. I sat in a courtroom after the cotton swab that was shoved in my ass didn’t provide the evidence needed to put a motherfucker in jail.

Somehow, I just don’t have a taste for violence.

I’m not sad that Charlie Kirk died. I’m sad that someone killed another human being in front of the world and I’m terrified of what comes next. I’m terrified that he’ll be a martyr and inspire more people than he ever could have inspired living his life to its natural conclusion. I have no doubt that some of that inspiration will be violent retaliation.

Just like when the moron shot at Trump and missed. You can go back to the comment I made that day. It went something like, “Well, they made him a goddamn hero and the election is over now.”

I think we could have prevented the rise of Donald Trump. I think people like Kirk and Shapiro could be made irrelevant. I believe we can do that with our goddamn brains and we don’t have to be apes to get what we want.

Dude ran his mouth. That’s what he did. No one should die for that.

You want violence? I’m just hoping it comes to those of you who do.

So Charlie Kirk was Hitler?

We’re just doomed to do this over and over again, aren’t we?

Just an endless cycle of brutality.

As though one day we’ll have just enough bloodshed to have everything we ever wanted?

Get off my nuts with that shit.

Just like every other time it’s happened, some naive kids will go out and die for all the morons who should be old enough to know better.

Oh well, I guess.

No, and that’s why we’re still doing this shit.

It just seems to me that we’re doomed as a species to continuously roll backwards into monstrosity and suffering. We’re animals. We really are.

Even the people who want a better and more just world think that it needs to be covered in flames first to get there.

It’s all some big game and the only people who keep losing are the regular people who just want to eat and not go to bed hungry.

When some big war comes, it will be fought by children again while all the so called thinkers on all sides dream of rebuilding in the aftermath, only to end up right back in the same mess all over again.

That’s why I’m so angry. Even the people who study history seem to miss everything between the lines.

Someone will take Charlie Kirk’s place. They always do. The next person will rally people to retaliate and be more extreme on his rhetoric.

When the next big war comes, we need to just take all of the people who advocated for it and throw them into a field and let them have it out. That isn’t ever how it goes though.

Thank you.

Well go be violent then. Fuck it up for those of us that don’t want any part in your bullshit.

I’m out. I’m done. I’m tired of reading shit from you cowards who do nothing day in and day out but inspire crazy people.

You’re animals. You’re no better than goddamn wild animals…except you call other people to violence and do nothing. That’s all that is left of your humanity. You’re like Hitler. You dream of gassing your enemies but you’re too cowardly to run the camps yourselves.

Comment back when you’ve killed someone you coward. Go on. Get out there. What’s stopping you?

Let me guess, you’re too comfortable. Your life is ok. Day in and day out with your little dopamine hits. Dreaming and doing nothing.

Go on, coward. Kill someone. Or are you somehow above it? Is that why I’m reading about people other than you in the news every day?

Shut your goddamn mouth until you’ve fired a shot. When you do, I hope you’re crucified in the streets.

I’m so done. I really am.

You guys don’t understand. I am so sick of seeing calls for violence. I’m so sick of seeing coldness toward violence.

Someone is going to want to retaliate. That’s what the fuck violence brings. Unless you win completely, and the only kind of motherfuckers who win completely are people who exterminate everyone who opposes them.

Is that what the fuck we want?

Do we want to see important figures in a left-wing movement assassinated? Someone is going to be upset enough to fire a gun at someone you care about.

Violence begets violence.

I can’t stand reading this shit anymore. I really can’t.

A bunch of fucking keyboard warriors stoked as shit when someone gets killed. Never ever fucking smart enough to think about what comes next. Well, get ready for it. Someone is going to be angry enough to shoot back, that is a promise. Go look at a fucking history book. Nobody takes this kind of thing sitting down.

If you think anything good is going to come from this, you are a goddamn fool.

Liters in a movement you care about are about to be assassinated in retaliation by some moron with a fucking gun.

I’ve got to get the fuck away from all this noise. I’m half tempted to fucking throw my phone in the creek and never look back.

Y’all want to kill each other and then cheer when someone is fucking murdered, fine.

Goddamn.

I fucking hated Charlie Kirk. If he had died naturally, I’d be the first one to piss on his fucking grave. Some idiot made a martyr, that’s what they did. Curious motherfucking kids who never heard anything he said will now listen to everything he ever said. You can’t kill an Ideology by killing the people who espouse said ideology.

I just want to beat my head into a fucking wall. I’m so fucking burned out. Fuck anybody who is OK with bullets traveling through the flesh of any of their fellow men. Go into a field and fire the guns yourselves against other idiots who want to fire guns, the rest of us are sick of your fucking violence.

But that’s ok, at least my brother’s gitten’ paid

Dam u!! Y my computer not start up n e more?

Who knew bands had so many unreleased songs?

Man oh man. I went Napster crazy.

A couple billion years from our point of view.

Dude doing the programming hasn’t even left for lunch yet.

I’ll check it out. Thank you.

I found a neat little workaround that I used for a while. I’d load the video up in my browser, turn the phone on an off a couple times, press play on the lock screen, and enjoy it that way.

Edit:

Still works. Just gotta full screen the video and then power off before it kills picture in picture.

And now I’m listening in the background as I type this.

Don’t smoke cigarettes is cool if you didn’t grow up in a world where they were handing you cigarettes when you were seven years old.

I quit heroin. Fucking heroin.

Do you know what I can’t quit? Smoking.

I was given my first cigarette when I was five years old. I was smoking a pack a day by the ripe old age of 12.

I was addicted enough that I went out and cut grass entirely to buy cigarettes. My brother and I robbed a delivery truck and took several boxes of camels. I was 13 when we did that.

My wife had me submit my dna to ancestry. I didn’t want to do it, but she was so excited because I don’t know my family at all.

You want to know what my traits said?

“You probably play a musical instrument.”

If my dna can tell people that I play music, what else can it tell?

You’re damn right it’s luck. Almost across the board as far as I’m concerned.

I don’t know what happened to me yesterday. I usually have 2 eggs, a piece of sausage (maybe an extra half a piece depending on how the kids eat), and two pieces of toast. I can go without food the rest of the day on this.

Here lately I’ve cut that down to one egg so I can have dinner with the kids.

Yesterday I was still hungry so I made a grilled cheese sandwich. Then another. Then another. Then one more.

Didn’t even eat this morning.

I’m also underweight a bit.

I guess my body had had enough of too much of not enough.

I really am haha.

I’m glad I’m not in the public spilling my guts to strangers anymore. That until the kids grow up or the wife gets sick of me and leaves me.

I’m sick of me.

Yesterday I got a sewing needle out and lost it, spent two hours panicking and looking for it. Found it where I looked 10 times.

I’m so exhausted.