You… think most huge ducking dumbasses know they’re dumbasses? ^^^^upvoted

Please tag NSFW. Not trying to get fired over these steamy newts…

Some people know telephone numbers, some of us don’t. 🤷‍♂️ What’s the big deal, the point is, you should have an alternate method to access your contacts…

“eVeRyOnE eLSe iS a SnOwFlAkE!”

Then watch as they try to police other people’s speech while using slurs and dog whistles…

I know, I know: “it’s a shitpost…” But there’s not a single type of music that sounds better at full blast. And if you inflict your music on others in public instead of using headphones, you’re an asshole.

Long may Her Grace live!

Try to channel your best Ron Swanson while saying it.

FYI, the attitude “I haven’t personally experienced it, so it either doesn’t exist or I don’t care”, whether online or off is considered extremely immature and selfish by most people.

I just did. If you get any text messages about your upcoming penis surgery tomorrow, know it’s legit! (Are they removing one, or adding one? Doesn’t matter, I’m sure they’ll figure it out…)

AccuWeather wants to know my location! ❤️

I can’t see specifics of what they sell without “signing in”? Fuck that.

I think I misheard them. ☹️ I’ve been heating up tubes for years!

Some real “bootstraps” vibes…

I’m optimistic! My parents weren’t perfect, but I absolutely appreciate everything they did now, and have told them so.

Kid no nap. Kidscream.

One of us!

I am cracking up at this. Please save this comment word-for-word in a journal or something. Because when he’s older and truly appreciates all you’ve done for him you’re going to find it even funnier than I did to remind him of this!

I know some whine that the money could be used to literally solve world hunger forever. Or to help needy people, or sick kids, or to fund tangible scientific progress… But they’re not thinking about the fact that instead, we’re going to have the absolute best hallucinations from the richest companies!

Way she goes…